chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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