Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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