would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
