I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
