maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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