Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
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I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What drink are we having for lunch?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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