Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
