Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
