We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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