he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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