dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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