I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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