mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
