I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
