Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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