She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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