Please, let me fuck your mom
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
