i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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