never play flip cup with pint glasses
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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