Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
