They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
