Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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