of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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