did you get engaged???
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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