"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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