I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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