I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
