There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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