How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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