I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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