Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
