Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
