We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize