the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
