Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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