my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
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I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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