Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
