Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
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Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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