this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize