we have officially lost it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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