Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
