I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
