she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
