No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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