Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
MIDGETS
????
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
