he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
