I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
