Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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