I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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