don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize