Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
