So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
