I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize