I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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