Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
