At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
