Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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