Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.

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  (925): He's on drugs...like drugs for horses. http://tfl.nu/witw
  Replies (41) Good night (1223) Bad night (2967)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?

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  (337): Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am? http://tfl.nu/uaqy
  Replies (11) Good night (4067) Bad night (1037)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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  (954): Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song. http://tfl.nu/556m
  Replies (16) Good night (4242) Bad night (1254)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk

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  (715): its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk http://tfl.nu/cy8n
  Replies (8) Good night (4044) Bad night (1103)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.

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  (910): He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work. http://tfl.nu/wbkv
  Replies (18) Good night (5961) Bad night (1417)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend

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  (412): she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend http://tfl.nu/4xq5
  Replies (16) Good night (5835) Bad night (999)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.

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  (313): he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it. http://tfl.nu/c4xp
  Replies (5) Good night (2491) Bad night (974)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.

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  (303): He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts. http://tfl.nu/jof7
  Replies (8) Good night (1171) Bad night (1895)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I want to celebrate with you...

  (214): View more from Texas

  There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.

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  (713): I want to celebrate with you... (214): There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner. http://tfl.nu/n2zn
  Replies (3) Good night (1732) Bad night (731)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs

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  (860): I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs http://tfl.nu/e3vg
  Replies (14) Good night (1188) Bad night (985)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket

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  (252): See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket http://tfl.nu/0lhc
  Replies (11) Good night (1581) Bad night (645)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club

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  (859): he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club http://tfl.nu/kd8o
  Replies (9) Good night (1301) Bad night (679)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.

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  (215): There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut. http://tfl.nu/e6c8
  Replies (2) Good night (1598) Bad night (610)
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  (845): View more from New York

  The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.

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  (845): The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction. http://tfl.nu/75bn
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (491)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.

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  (850): You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/k8oo
  Replies (2) Good night (1412) Bad night (416)

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