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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder

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• (469): View more from Texas

  He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.

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• (718): View more from New York

  Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i realized i waste a lot of time

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• (361): View more from Texas

  You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me

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• (347): View more from New York

  He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!

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