Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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  (323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j
  Replies (9) Good night (835) Bad night (3776)
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  (292): View more from

  i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.

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  (292): i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better. http://tfl.nu/myls
  Replies (4) Good night (627) Bad night (3414)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.

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  (602): So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw. http://tfl.nu/cazb
  Replies (19) Good night (3991) Bad night (760)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.

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  (614): Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar. http://tfl.nu/j0wd
  Replies (19) Good night (5889) Bad night (1319)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home

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  (574): 2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home http://tfl.nu/gyyq
  Replies (13) Good night (5397) Bad night (1181)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick

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  (215): did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick http://tfl.nu/zk1d
  Replies (5) Good night (1060) Bad night (2320)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.

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  (207): Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers. http://tfl.nu/zz2j
  Replies (4) Good night (1931) Bad night (1426)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.

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  (403): Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed. http://tfl.nu/yrbs
  Replies (7) Good night (983) Bad night (1600)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.

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  (402): let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him. http://tfl.nu/l9xp
  Replies (8) Good night (3041) Bad night (663)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.

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  (269): Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/yk34
  Replies (12) Good night (1538) Bad night (1169)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.

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  (703): Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything. http://tfl.nu/6ga5
  Replies (12) Good night (2404) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Who in tha hell do u hang out with?

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  (615): I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls. (1-615): Who in tha hell do u hang out with? http://tfl.nu/cxra
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (674)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind

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  (517): how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind http://tfl.nu/fj2o
  Replies (4) Good night (324) Bad night (664)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth

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  (425): I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/e6vt
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.

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  (407): Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away. http://tfl.nu/1xai
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (257)

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