Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.

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  (201): just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face. http://tfl.nu/tz6f
  Replies (7) Good night (2636) Bad night (515)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.

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  (709): took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable. http://tfl.nu/b0tu
  Replies (18) Good night (866) Bad night (3147)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!

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  (770): A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES! http://tfl.nu/kktf
  Replies (21) Good night (4468) Bad night (925)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.

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  (919): Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time. http://tfl.nu/r3pt
  Replies (9) Good night (4903) Bad night (1206)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night

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  (505): You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night http://tfl.nu/jwrk
  Replies (14) Good night (4580) Bad night (887)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.

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  (662): After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do. http://tfl.nu/mztj
  Replies (9) Good night (3351) Bad night (976)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.

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  (631): She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom. http://tfl.nu/uq6s
  Replies (22) Good night (6654) Bad night (1180)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.

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  (305): MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like. http://tfl.nu/d99s
  Replies (17) Good night (1515) Bad night (5644)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.

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  (502): I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day. http://tfl.nu/53ab
  Replies (5) Good night (2182) Bad night (837)
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  (323): View more from California

  Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!

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  (323): Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end! http://tfl.nu/gq8b
  Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (702)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.

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  (519): No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him. http://tfl.nu/boov
  Replies (12) Good night (1819) Bad night (772)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly

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  (330): I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly http://tfl.nu/0xww
  Replies (4) Good night (1296) Bad night (615)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Sorry about the flaming shit on your door

  (940): View more from Texas

  I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text

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  (940): Sorry about the flaming shit on your door (940): I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text http://tfl.nu/x4xg
  Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (496)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

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  (307): I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open. http://tfl.nu/7eks
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (703)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated

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  (413): My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated http://tfl.nu/t4rd
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (244)

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