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• (619): View more from California

  thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.

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• (760): View more from California

  Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I rest my case.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (914): View more from New York

  I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  did you know gatorade and rum go really good together

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  Are you doing depressed science again

  (210): View more from Texas

  maybe

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  How do you even...

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.

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