Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  someone get that fucking seahorse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): someone get that fucking seahorse. http://tfl.nu/vz56
  Replies (20) Good night (2570) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating http://tfl.nu/7lhs
  Replies (24) Good night (5973) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over. http://tfl.nu/nwsy
  Replies (40) Good night (15875) Bad night (2061) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active." http://tfl.nu/o68j
  Replies (77) Good night (745) Bad night (15894) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  why does the wii remote smell like your vag?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): why does the wii remote smell like your vag? http://tfl.nu/z7m2
  Replies (55) Good night (1872) Bad night (8886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to get rid of the hedgehog.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Does it come with a cage?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes. and food and toys.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i'll trade you an 8th for it

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  deal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i have to get rid of the hedgehog. (765): Does it come with a cage? (201): yes. and food and toys. (765): i'll trade you an 8th for it (201): deal. http://tfl.nu/2d4g
  Replies (26) Good night (9622) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (61): who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class http://tfl.nu/g4lj
  Replies (6) Good night (4327) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch http://tfl.nu/4tdt
  Replies (10) Good night (2627) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/ox4w
  Replies (3) Good night (2202) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/43r1
  Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???" http://tfl.nu/w522
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it. http://tfl.nu/nkgr
  Replies (11) Good night (546) Bad night (1482) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Do you believe in miracles?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830
  Replies (5) Good night (1216) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all. http://tfl.nu/rs17
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt

Randomize