Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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  (408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;) (650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food http://tfl.nu/jz1a
  Replies (120) Good night (4460) Bad night (35902)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me

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  (908): he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me http://tfl.nu/31sq
  Replies (20) Good night (1694) Bad night (4635)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

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  (937): how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them http://tfl.nu/5e8u
  Replies (4) Good night (623) Bad night (2883)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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  (631): You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone http://tfl.nu/0bcu
  Replies (4) Good night (4348) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.

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  (613): there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays. http://tfl.nu/8dlv
  Replies (5) Good night (2502) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.

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  (843): Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing. http://tfl.nu/zggy
  Replies (5) Good night (1988) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way

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  (845): Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way http://tfl.nu/6bq1
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

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  (617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb
  Replies (7) Good night (2841) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...

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  (206): The cab driver is now flexing at a red light... http://tfl.nu/j986
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's blow job season.

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  (515): It's blow job season. http://tfl.nu/1yxc
  Replies (51) Good night (1566) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.

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  (320): I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year. http://tfl.nu/1qto
  Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.

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  (610): I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four. http://tfl.nu/hflm
  Replies (0) Good night (365) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.

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  (202): I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever. http://tfl.nu/g05z
  Replies (0) Good night (650) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.

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  (330): You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/exdp
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.

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  (908): My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER. http://tfl.nu/023o
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (221)

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