so explain again why im purple
no
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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